don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
