You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
