we made out on top of his cat.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
