we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
