My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
