There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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