I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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