dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
