Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So vagazzling was a success
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
