in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize