Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote

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(+44): View more from England

Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?

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(618): View more from Illinois

This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Dibsssss

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(718): View more from New York

There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.

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(713): View more from Texas

So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.

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(562): View more from California

Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!

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(914): View more from New York

Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way

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