I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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