His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
