I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
