Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
