you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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