Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
