Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I could fuck to npr.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
