How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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