it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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