somebody snuck up and got me drunk
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
