farters have to be the big spoon...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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