You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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