When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
