i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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