these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
