Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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