haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
