make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
