so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
