i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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