so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize