So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
