He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
