I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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