Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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