so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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