she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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