Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
