I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
