Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
