It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
