Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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