i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Pants are for mortals
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
