last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize