Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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