I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he thought i was a dude.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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