he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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