I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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