That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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