this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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