Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
