You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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