the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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