don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
