I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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