if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I puked a lego.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
bring money and cleavage
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
