ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
