Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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