And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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