i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
